Kings of Catastrophe
by sublimerocker
Summary: Naruto,Shikamaru,Chouji,Saskue,and Kiba are in a band. Unpopular at school, their clique strives to get out of Konoha. Winning the contest is the only way. This is the chronicle of a group of freinds who learn what being rockstars is really like.AUNarusak


**Howdy Yall! (We don't really greet people like this in Texas, at least not where I live from). But that is a subject for another time. What im here to rant about today is my new fic? I am not stopping "Were Gonna be Parents!" just getting some other ideas I had published. On top of this music oriented fic, I have another one in the works about baseball. So if you liked the humor from my other fic, this will be similar. Updates will be sporadic too. However, number of reviews influences what gets updated when, just something to think about. As for warnings and pairings, well AU first and foremost. And as far as parings go, I like NaruSaku, but im not sure if it will be more than just a good friendship though. The fics primary focus will be the life of a few musicians, so just to be safe, drugs and alcohol, and a fair bit of language and sexually explicit material. But once again, there is no guarantee any of that will make it in. I just don't write like that, my stories come out in short bursts. Having a long, convoluted plot planed out 40 chapter's in advance dosent suit me. Whew! Pardon my ramblin', on with the story.**

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I don't own Naruto, any musical instrument, band, song, or place I may refernce. I will try to give credit where credit is due. Any original songs will be stated as so.

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Beep! Beep! Beep!

"GOOD MORNING KONOHA! It's the Kazuo and Akira morning show, only on 102.3 the Leaf. The time is seven fifteen and it is a beautiful morning, 65 right now, gonna get up to about 80 today". Kazuo the DJ stated exuberantly. "As for traffic, not much to worry about this morning. A stalled vehicle on highway 52, but other than that, it should be smooth sailing today" his partner stated, a little more reserved. Kazuo paused, before remembering what he meant to say. "Oh and to all you kids out there, have a fun last day of school".

Another three beeps wrang out. And a hand snaked its way from underneath the covers. It groped around the nightstand for a bit, and finally shut the alarm off. A masculine voice groaned "ahh peace and quiet…" before drifting back into a peaceful slumber.

Haruno Sakura was never patient, especially when it came to her lazy best friend. Often, she would be seen dragging the boy, literally dragging him kicking and screaming, with her to wherever they needed to be. After finishing her morning routines, she had decided on wearing a pair of blue-jeans and a red t-shirt with a white circle on the front. She also had a pair of red converse all-stars tied on her feet. Sakura took one last look in the mirror, brushing a few stray hairs behind her ears. A lot of people gave her shit about the bubble-gum pink hue of her hair. Even though it really was natural, she had long since abandoned defending it. After deciding she was presentable, Sakura grabbed her messenger bag and left her house, locking the door behind her. Now it was time for the morning ritual she most loathed. _'I swear to god, he better be ready before I get there today_'.

Sakura strolled up to the door of the Uzumaki home. A second home to the girl, she walked right in without even knocking. She was met by Kushina Uzumaki, her "other" mom. Kushina was dressed in her normal business attire, talking on her blackberry. "No I said buy not sell 300 shares! Are you ignorant or just stupid?" Sakura giggled, and Kushina finally saw her.

"Hold on," she put down the phone "Good morning Sakura, sorry I couldn't make breakfast today. I was in a bit of a pickle at work THANKS TO SOME JACKASS!" she screamed the last part the phone. Sakura was laughing at Kushina's antics "don't worry about it Shina', is he up yet?" Kushina shook her head. "No, ill let you take care of that. I have a suggestion though. You remember that early birthday present he's been asking for?" Sakura nodded. "Well it got here this morning. I put it up in his room, but I haven't heard anything so I assume he still dosent know. Why don't you go 'try it out' for him" Kushina suggested. She hugged Sakura and stepped out the door. Sakura could tell where he got his prankster attitude from. She dropped her bag and mounted the stairs leading to his room.

The door creaked silently open, and Sakura tiptoed in to the room. Not that it mattered, her best friend could sleep thorough a nuclear bomb if he needed to. Kushina was right, as the mass on the bed lay still, snoring loudly. Sakura looked around for his gift, and saw it on a stand in the corner. It was a beautiful new Fender bass, orange with black flames licking up the body. Sakura understood what Kushina meant. She positioned an amp next to the snoring mass underneath the covers. She strapped the bass on and plugged it into the amplifier. With the flick of a switch, the amp turned on and began to hum. Sakura snickered evily "Wake up Naruto…". She turned the volume on the bass to ten, and strummed the 4 strings openly with a pick. The resulting noise shook the house to its foundation.

Naruto jumped out of bed grabbing his ears. He was clad only in a pair of gray sweat pants. He rubbed his eyes and yawned "What the hell Sakura-chan? I mean there are better ways to wake me up then making those horrible sounds on my new b…" Naruto stopped and darted toward Sakura. "Oh my god yes! When did it get here?" He yanked the bass from Sakura and began playing a few quick riffs. It sounded good, really good. "It got here this morning Naruto". She then unplugged the amplifier, resulting in a moan from Naruto. "Now get dressed, you can play it at school later. Were gonna be late if you don't hurry!" Sakura hollered from the stairs.

Naruto descended the stairs five minutes later in a pair of black shorts and a white shirt with an orange swirl on the front. "Alright Sakura just let me eat breakfeast and we can get out of here". Naruto glanced at the top of the refrigerator. He then proceeded to search every cabinet in the kitchen. After opening every door he scratched his head.

"Hey Sakura-chan, have you seen my cereal?" Sakura's response was a loud crunch. She sloshed the bowl a bit. "You mean this?" she said innocently. Naruto hung his head and settled on an orange instead. "That was not cool Sakura; you can be a right bitch sometimes". She shrugged and continued eating his cereal.

"Yeah, I can be bitch when I need to. But im still a bitch with delicious crunchy cereal". Naruto smirked. He loved it when they argued. He loved it when she was mad. He loved just being with her. Lately, he was starting to think that maybe they should be more than just friends. But he didn't want to ruin the oldest friendship he had by bringing that up. He pushed it out of his mind and fired readied another insult.

"Jeez you eat a lot. Have you gained weight lately?" Sakura gulped the last of her milk down, and threw the ceramic bowl like a discus at Naruto. He sidestepped and caught the spinning bowl. "Shut up. And grab your stuff; I don't want to be late on our last day". He sighed and slung his new bass on his shoulders.

Inwardly he thought '_five more days, and then maybe we can get out of here, at least for the summer'_. Naruto grabbed his wallet; phone, keys, and most importantly, a guitar pick on a chain. "Wish me luck today, old man". He hung it around his neck, and bounced out the door.

Now Shodaime High School, although not the most prestigious school in the fire country, was the largest. Naruto and Sakura walked along the sidewalk infront of the school's athletic fields. It was arranged in a big square around a central "courtyard" as the students had dubbed. The space was covered in lush green carpet grass, and had a bunch of trees and tables set up. Naruto and Sakura peered around the courtyard for a moment before locating their friends. Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, and Saskue sat in a circle on the ground. Each had a musical instrument in their hands. Ino was sitting at a table behind them. She began to frantically wave at Sakura. Naruto laughed "I think Ino needs to talk to you Sakura-chan". Sakura nodded at Ino "No kidding". Sakura joined the girl while Naruto went and sat down with his bandmates.

The four boys looked curiously at Naruto as he set down his case. Shikamaru wore jeans and a black long-sleeve shirt. His Gibson Les Paul was lying in his lap. Naruto pulled his new bass out, and their jaws dropped. Naruto smiled. "You guys like?" Shikamaru spoke first. "Let me see that thing Naruto". Naruto gladly handed the instrument to his lazy friend, snagging his guitar in the process. Naruto sat back down and strummed a few chords. "No 'troublesome' Shika? Wow, I feel even better about pestering my mom into buying that thing". Shikamaru played and inspected the instrument for a few moments. "Cool Naruto, were going to be amazing at the contest tonight" Shikamaru exclaimed before handing Naruto his bass. Kiba put his tenor sax back in its case and stood up.

"Yawn…well class is gonna start soon. Better pack it up guys". Saskue did the same with his trombone. Chouji replaced his snare drum for a bag of chips. They waved their goodbyes. Saskue turned around and yelled at his bandmates "Remember, met back here during lunch, we need all the practice we can get!" And with that, Naruto and Saskue jogged to class.

Now, normally Naruto and Saskue wouldn't care if they were late to their first period. In fact, they rarely were on time for most of the year. Their English teacher was chronically tardy, but he made a point to be on time for finals. A lesson that Saskue and Naruto learned the hard way. The duo skidded around a hallway and dove for the door, just as the bell rang. "So nice of you to join us Mr. Uzumaki and Mr. Uchiha" the teacher said through a grin. "Sorry Iruka-sensei" Naruto and Saskue chorused. They took their seats. "Now if you don't mind, id like to start the exam". The class groaned. "Oh quiet, its not that hard". Iruka grinned and passed out the scantron forms.

* * *

"What kind of bullshit was that? Three essay's on top of the multiple choice, that's going a little far, even for Kakashi-sensei" Naruto whined. Saskue shook his head "Well dobe, if you had come and studied with me last night like I said you should…" Naruto cut Saskue off "blah blah blah, I have a gay haircut, we all know Saskue. Ive offered on several occasions to take you to get that fixed". Saskue was getting mad, a feat few had ever accomplished. "Whatever Naruto. At least that was our last test for the year, now we can relax and ride out the rest of the day.

The boys met at their spot in the courtyard for lunch. Like usual, Chouji was the last to arrive. His tray was pilled to the top with Cafeteria food. He took his seat in the circle as everyone finished tuning and warming up. Shikamaru clicked a pocket amp on, as did Naruto. Shikamaru sighed "Alright can we get this troublesome practice going already? I was hoping to get some cloud watching in today". Chouji followed suit and pulled out his drum. "Alright, one, two, one two three four" Chouji hit his sticks together. Saskue and Kiba came in on their horns. Naruto picked up the song quickly and began playing a walking bass riff. Shikamaru played upstroke chords on the offbeat. And then Naruto sang.

"_Ive come to my senses, that ive become senseless_

_And I could give you lessons, how to ruin your friendships_

_Every last conviction, yeah I smoked them all away_

_I drank my frustrations, down the drain out of the way_

_So I sit and wait and wonder, does anyone else feel like me?_

_Im so tired of their routines and disappearance of esteems_

_Ill sing along, yeah with every emergency,_

_Just sing along, im the king of catastrophes_

_Im so far gone, that deep down inside I think its fine by me,_

_That im my own worst enemy"_

Sakura and Ino had joined their friends in the circle. They sounded amazing, and they were just practicing. The girls clapped along with the beat, when a soccer ball came whizzing at them from across the courtyard. They all sprung up and dodged the projectile. Naruto spun in the direction the ball came from. '_I should have expected it, those faggots'_. Everyone else just stared at the soccer team, who were laughing at what the just did. Kiba shouted back "What's your fuckin' problem? Tired of touching each others asses?" A tall kid with a brown mop haircut stepped closer to Kiba. "No, we were just tired of hearing your shitty music!" That was enough to set Naruto off. "You know what Kaiza? Im tired of all you soccer ball kicking douchebags giving us shit!" The soccer team outnumberd their little band 2 to 1. Sakura figured she should end this before everyone got into trouble. She stepped in-between the two sides, who were sizing each other up. She grabbed the ball and dug in her bag. Sakura, who was quite a talented artist, produced a box cutter. "Look, will you just take the ball and leave us alone?" A blonde soccer player stepped forward. "Sure Sakura, but why do you chill with these losers? I mean, you and Ino are pretty hot for rocker chicks". That was all Sakura needed. She flicked the box cutter open and stabbed it into the ball. She tossed the deflated shell back at the jocks and pocketed the razor. "Cmon guys, lets just leave, I think the A.P.'s are coming". With that, the band of seven packed up and quickly fled for their homeroom. They left the team staring dumbfounded.

Their homeroom was unfortunately, Iruka-sensei's classroom. But since it was the last day, he almost immediately dismissed them to do whatever they wanted. Iruka leaned back in his chair and began surfing on the internet. The guys had taken out their instruments once again, hopeing to practice in peace. Saskue called a break and turned to Sakura. "Hey Sakura, what was with the box cutter you had in your bag?" She dug in her messenger bag for a moment, and pulled out the razor and a square of cardboard. "Stencil" was Sakura's answer. She began sketching and cutting on the cardboard. Ino was sitting on top of her desk listening to the boys jamming. When they were finished, she and Sakura began clapping. "So you guys nervous?" Ino asked. Saskue just shrugged. "It's our first real show. But I know were gonna blow everyone else out of the water" he said confidently. Shikamaru, who was on his back cloud gazing out the window, sighed. "Speaking of which, we still don't have a name. Any suggestions?" Everyone looked at the ground in contemplation.

"Ramen force five!" Naruto said enthusiastically. He was immediately shot death glares and laughs.

"Step on my Bleeding Heart" Saskue suggested. Everyone else looked shocked. Shikamaru groaned "We play ska Saskue, not screamo". Saskue slumped into his chair, defeated.

"The Skanobi's?" Everyone looked at Sakura and thought. It was about the best thing they had come up with all day. Shikamaru yawned. The name made sense really fit their style and background. There really were ninja's in Konoha a few hundred years ago, but they had long since died out. "I think it's an awesome name Sakura-chan" Naruto beamed. He gave Sakura a thumbs up, and she blushed a little. "Thanks Naruto. She smiled and went back to cutting the stencil. Chouji opend yet another bag of chips. "Well-crunch-I like-crunch-it." He said through a mouthful of snacks. "It'll have to do, at least for tonight. We can always change our name" Kiba offered. Saskue just shrugged and muttered "Whatever, lets just decide already". Shikamaru rolled his eyes "troublesome…alright were the Skanobi's, at least for now". The bell rang shortly after.

"So where are we meeting tonight?" Naruto questioned. Shikamaru shook his head. "At your house Naruto. You have all the equipment and the van, remember?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. He waved goodbye to his friends. Everyone was going home to change and get ready for the nights activites. Naruto casually walked down the sidewalk, bass strapped to his back. He reflected on the events that had transpired that day. '_Jeez what a day, first my new bass, then that bullshit with those soccer jocks. Aw well, at least school is finally over. Still don't know what to do about me and Sakura-chan though'._ He shook his head. "Cmon Naruto, focus on the show tonight. He started singing their songs in his head, and strolled on home.

Naruto walked up to the door and dug for his keys. He grabbed the door handle, it was already open. The blonde walked inside and dumped his backpack and shoes by the door. Naruto could smell food cooking in the kitchen. "Mom? You home already?"Naruto yelled. Naruto walked into the kitchen and immediately dove into the fridge. He pulled out a long black can, with a large green "M" on the front. Kushina turned and faced her almost grown son, who was downing the energy drink. He was seventeen; she knew he wouldn't stick around much longer. She held her sons chin for a moment and then hugged him. "God Naruto, you look so much like him, it almost hurts". He hugged his mother back "I know mom, but, I bet he'd be proud of me now, huh?" She wiped a tear from her cheek and smiled. "Yes Naruto-kun, he would". Naruto took a closer look at his kitchen, food was being prepared everywhere. "Mom, who's all this food for?" She shook her head. "I don't want you and your friends performing on empty stomachs." He nodded and retreated up to his room. In a large wicker basket, a small orange fox lay napping. Naruto kneeled and stroked the little creature's back. "Hey Kyu, how's it going little buddy. (AN: I know, lame huh? I couldn't resist). The fox stirred, let out a "yip" and went back to sleep. Naruto sighed "I swear, you and Shikamaru and kindred spirits". He walked over to a desk behind where he and his friends practiced. In a fish tank sat a small red toad. "Hey Gama-kichi, you want a grasshopper?" Naruto fished a grasshopper out of a jar and fed it to the little toad. Naruto then began gathering everything they would need that night. As he wound up cables, his thoughts kept drifting to Sakura. He decided he really needed to talk to her. After he checked and double checked all their stuff he laid down on his bed. Naruto would need all the rest he could get tonight. Kyu noticed and jumped up on top of him, the little fox slept curled up in a little ball. He drifted off into a dreany sleep.

5:00 pm

Naruto heard voices, familiar voices, in his room. The blonde stirred and rubbed his eyes. Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Saskue, Sakura, and Ino were all sitting in his room. Naruto yawned and sat up. Saskue shook his head. "Geez dobe, do you do anything but sleep?" Naruto shrugged and got out of bed. "No, sleep and saracasm are just two of the many free services I offer". Everyone in the room chuckled. Naruto stood up and scaned his friends.

Saskue was wearing tight jeans, and a "Ramones" shirt. His long black hair hung over his face.

Shikamaru had on the same thing from school, and his hair was pulled back in its usual pineapple-like position.

Chouji wore baggy jeans and a red hoodie. His shaggy brown hair was capped by a matching baseball cap.

Kiba was wearing tan Kaki pants and a black t-shirt.

Ino had donned fishnet stockings, a black skirt, and a white t-shirt witch read 'bitch' across the front.

And then there was Sakura. She wore a blue-jean skirt, which was frayed at the bottom, and red top that revealed a lot of her stomach. To top it all off, she had her hair pulled up in a spiky knot. She still was wearing her red converse all-stars. Naruto just gawked at her, much to everyone's amusement.

Sakura shook her head, and made the "peace" sign, pointing it at her eyes. "Im flattered Naruto, but im up here". Naruto snapped out of it. "Um…im…my ba…" He was at a lost for words. You could cut the awkwardness with a knife. Fortunately, fate was on Naruto's side today. Kushina Uzumaki yelled from the kitchen "Okay kids food's ready!". Everyone eyed each other suspiciously. And then all hell broke loose. Naruto charged for the stairs, only to be blocked by Chouji. Ino and Sakura decided to team up when Shikamaru blocked their path, Kiba and Saskue were pushing eachother dangerously close to the stairs. Finally, Kyu, noticing the struggle, joined the fray. Somone stepped on his tail, and he bit Saskue. All eight of them were sent hurtling down the stairs. They landed with a thump in a pile on the landing below. Shikamaru groaned "Chouji get the hell off me!" Sakura and Ino were 'entwined' wrather awkwardly under Naruto. He began giggling perversely. "Shut up Naruto!" They both pulled themselves out from under him. Everyone stood up, dusted themselves off, and began to laugh hysterically. Saskue was being mauled by the little fox. It hung by its teeth on Saskue's leg. He began frantically shaking the little fox shouting "Get this thing off me dobe! Ow!" Naruto grabbed the fox and it released it's grip. Five minutes in, and a catastrophe had already occurred. Naruto sighed inwardly '_its gonna be a long night'._

**Well I hoped you enjoyed it. If it was boring I promise it will get better. Id tell you why, but that would spoil the story. So please review and tell me what you thought. I thought you might have some questions so ill try my best to clear a few things up. 1. What is Ska? Ska is a form of music, similar to reggae. Modern ska or third wave is the kind that they band in my fic plays. Some examples, Less than Jake, Sublime, Reel Big Fish, Goldfinger, No Doubt. The song that Naruto sings is a Less than Jake song (See credits below). Pairingwise, probably Narusaku, suggest any others you want to me. I used kyubbi and gamakichi as pets, just an idea that popped into my head. Oh and if you have a name for the band id like to hear it. Ill keep the Skanobis's, but id like some input if you have any. Thank you for reading. Ill try to have the next chapter out by this weekend. SR out.**

**Credits:  
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**Lyrics in Italic taken from the Less than Jake song ****The Science of Selling Yourself Short.**** Property of Warner Bros. (Please don't sue me)**

**Gibson and Fender Guitars are property of their respective owners. **

**Any other grievances of infringement please give them to me, I will gladly accomadate you the best I can.**


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